Friendlationship…

There are so many ladies in undefined relationship with men. They even have a name for it now, ‘friendlationship’- friendship with benefits of a relationship. Being in this spot can be detrimental to a woman’s self image especially when it has been going on for a while. Undefined relationship eventually ends up with one person tied emotionally to the other.

There is the tendency to believe that intimacy comes after sex, I beg to differ on this notion. Real intimacy starts when you start sharing deep personal stuffs with someone, either you are in a relationship or not.

In chronic cases of Friendlationship- people assume they are dating of probably on the way to the altar but the guy ain’t saying nada! In addition, the lady asks, ‘so what’s up between us?” He mutters something of this sort, “well, what do you think?” all his words are indicating something but his actions are saying otherwise.

If you have to do a guess-work in your relationship, you are on the wrong ship. Assumptions always look like the truth and most of the time, not the truth. No woman should go through the stress of having to guess where she stands in a relationship. No chemistry in the world is worth that stress.

We also have the category of men that have gotten very comfortable with being fine, cool, single and surrounded by ladies.  

These guys become serial friends, make friends with many ladies and yet will not date any. Maybe they get emotionally thrilled from the ladies fancying them and telling them about how cool they are- I don’t know.

My dear girlfriends, you do not want to be one of the ladies in these positions. If a guy is not ready to be your super hero, you stand and let him take a walk. The other side is this- you are setting yourself up for a major heartbreak. Girlfriends, you are Queens and that’s the way you should be treated- let no one tell you any different.

The purpose of this warning is not to eliminate the confusion and excitement around the word “Relationship”, but to focus on the kind of relationship that is essential to our emotional health. .